He leaves me voicemail about rodents.
When I checked my voicemail this afternoon, I found this little gem from LO.
This is the kind of stuff he makes up at the sound of the beep, in a Bob Barker-ish voice:
(A little back history – I hate rodents. He loves them.)
Hi, I’m calling from the Rodents for Life foundation. Here at Rodents for Life, we take pride in our animals of this great country of ours..you generally see them as raccoons, skunks, squirrels, often road kill.
What we’re promoting is little 2-foot-high fences on the edge of every road to prevent these little critters from getting hurt by vehicles.
All we’re asking for is a $5 donation from every person.
Think! If you save a critter, how would you feel? We will send you posters and videos of various rodents that you saved. Perhaps you will even have a rodent pen pal! We are now working on a special genetic process to allow raccoons and squirrels to write! Thaaaat’s right! To write a letter to YOU! This has never happened before in history, where you will see the intimate thoughts, stories and beliefs of a rodent. Unnnnbelievable! I know what you’re thinking!
This package is available now for only $24.99. However, if you just wish to participate in the Save-a-Rodent fence, $5 is sufficient. Please call 1-800-save-a-rodent. We can’t wait to hear from you! All the critters are just chirping away. They can’t wait. They want to be saved. You need to save them. It’s your job as a decent human being. Save the rodents!
(At least it’s better than when he calls and just meows into the phone until the machine cuts him off!)