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He writes heartfelt greeting cards.

October 21, 2009

Even as a (coughcough) “writer”, I find “new baby” and “wedding” greeting cards really difficult to fill out. I mean, what do you really have to tell someone besides CONGRATULATIONS?

A lot, apparently.

Because every time LO fills out a card, there just isn’t enough room for all the heartfelt sentiments he wishes to express. Literally – he nearly runs out of space every time!

When we were attending one of his friend’s weddings last summer, I noticed the envelope was pretty thick. When I asked him what was inside, he pulled out a millitary work order form (not its technical name but whatever)- something that gets filled out when a piece of equipment is broken.

“Huh?” you might think to yourself, as I did. “WTF does that have to do with a wedding?”

He filled out the card for the groom’s penis and signed it as the bride.

“Ahhh…riiiiight!”

And the “new baby” card? I would have stared at it for minutes, trying to find synonyms for “congratulations!” in my head. But not LO. He takes it out of the envelope and starts writing right away.

I’m thinking something along the lines of, “Felicitations!” (it’s. a. word), “All the best!” or “Yay!”

But when I look over at the card, he’s already got it started, his way:

“We are thrilled you have decided to produce offspring!”

Well, then.

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